Hello ✿



Welcome to my blog. I do whatever I want and get away with it too! Come hang out!

Bring out the Zine! Bring out the whole damn Schpiel!

Hello, I am really truly back, settled and employed in Massachusettes. I made a zine about it of course, but I want to ramble about this first. I'm living a kind of dream I've always aspired but never thought could be possible. I keep drinking on school nights, running out of time for all my plans and projects, getting to come home to people, it is very wonderful.
Somerville is a very special place, walkable (until they tear up all the side walks for the mysterious construction project that started the day we got here and continues to this day) and with shops, stores, markets, and so many places to go. 
My new job is fun, active and full of friendly people. I'm learning the world of food service and it is not as scary as I feared. I feel gross every day but I get tips and I meet people and I have regulars and I get to walk around and do different things every hour and its great. 
The house is coming along very well. Its got the same theme as before, but my room is going to be more themed than ever. I want a sort of boudoir vibe mixed with my lovely objects I haven't seen in a year. I am very excited for my upcoming visit home to grab stuff I've been missing, I must complete the space. 
I am so close to my family and the people I have missed the most, though I have aquired new people to miss. It is weird that Santa Fe is now just a year that happened, its already taking up less space in my mind as I make way for new things. I miss a lot, more than I thought. The friends were a given, but I miss the sunset over the shrub and grass or when the Sangre de Cristos would do that thing they were named after. I miss having people to discuss the nuances of tourism in the South West, to see people from truly everywhere. 
At my job I have regulars, strangers I see every day and know nothing about. I like meeting locals and people at similar stages of life to me. But I miss having the tourist customers who were from so many different places. Its not even about ethnicity or birthplace but the current place these people are used to living in. I can't explain why it feels so different any more than this. 
I am living correctly here, I move correctly. I take the bus or the train or I walk! When I attempt to cross, people are ready for me. When I cut through I don't feel absurd for just being on the sidewalk. I can afford groceries and utilities and I can buy something for my own amusement. I can talk about my life with people who are experiencing the same things at the same time. I am happier here, but change is always weird and I loved New Mexico and I felt like it loved me. I get to write letters now, its not the same as being with my people, but it keeps me connected and creative. Anyways...
Here is a zine that took me about three or four weeks since I've only been busy here. I've had multiple overnight guests, nights out and events to take up my time. But I want to find the rhythm that lets me go out and live and stay in and create.

Enjoy!



Thank you for checking in, I'm missing you right now.
Write soon!
๐Ÿ“ฌ



Don't say you're from New York if you're not from Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx or Nebraska!!

 Hello my readers,

I have made my grand return to my home, my city, my coast. I have been home for a few days, finally got to see the mets live and watched them lose to the Braves after this win only days before. And, although we have a famous rivalry, a mets game is always so friendly that I just enjoyed being there. I hope to go to a busier, non post-poned game where everyone will sing the rest of Lindor's song (everyone loves a girl dad). If they trade Lindor I will cry and I hope Mr. Met sees this. I will cry.

its here!!
Anyways, here's a bit of a trip report, mainly of my favorite state we were in, Nebraska. I made The Boyfriend drive all the way up to Nebraska because of Dear America. One of my favorites, Accross the Wide and Lonesome Prairie, includes the great  Badlands landmark, Chimney Rock. For some reason, I really wanted to go. The Oregon trail is one of my favorite historical eras, like Versailles, and similar to Versailles, I do not actually want to experience it and I am not worshipping the participants. I think anyone who did the Trail was crazy, especially if they took their childrens accross it. I see it as honestly the start one of the biggest ecological disasters in American history (maybe after Columbus's arrival) and a horrible start to mass western expnsion and cultural erasure. Anyways, I am obsessed with it partically because exploration is something that I love to read about and because it sounds like pure torture as someone who loves her objects. The worst part of any Trail story is when the wagon breaks and everything must be left behind, especially someones cabinet or favorite chair. 

the loss since Hattie was here

Chimney Rock is one of the landmarks along the way. It is featured in the original Oregon Trail game in beautiful four color pixel art. It has lost some feet since the mid 1800s but it's still impressice and identifiable on the horizon when you view it from Scott's Bluff. 

The Oregon Trail does not seem to have the same star power in the American mythos like the Mayflower or the Civil War, which may be a good thing. I think this allows us to be more nuanced about it without the push back from the Daughters of the Revolution or the Daughter of the Confederacy. I may be wrong, and I believe any historical event in which the brave and strong white americans are often well defended from any sort of percieved attack. Lewis and Clark's Expedition (who's wikipedia page I read like an audio book to The Boyfriend, always almost pronouncing Clatsop as Catslop) is a less talked about event, comparatively, though it is an interesting part of history in which Sacagawea is elevated, almost above the role she really played and York, who I had never heard of, is excluded. What does that tell us about what we want to come from this event? My reading is that we want to be assured of and maybe inflate how much Native people agreed to and participated in the States' expansion. York's erasure, to me, comes from our stressing of the importance the expedition had as advancement, future-looking event and our glorifying of two men. Slave owning does not align with those characters. 

Oh yeah, Chimney Rock. It was hot, about 100 degrees and dry, worse than New Mexico's solid 80 something, but we had not reached Wet USA yet, so tolerable for me. We walked pretty near to it, though the trail did not get all that close, and we parked as far as possible by accident. 


its like walking up to the beach in the sky

The next great, though exhausting, stop was the Indiana Dunes. After living in New Mexico, elevation is easy. I can go uphill better than ever in my life. All my mountain hikes gained around a thousand feet of elevation and there was gain on any hike, even whithin city limits. But all that ground was solid. The Dunes are only a few hundred feet above sea level. But the dunes are beach sand off of Lake Michigan and require strenth in my ankles and control I really do not have, though a lot of European tourists and American families of seven or more did much better than I. The sides of the trail were more solid, but surrounded by Poison Ivy. At this point, mosquitos, poison ivy and ticks were back in my life. 

After doing 2 out of the 3 dune challenge (My fault, I thought trail 8 would be just like trail 7, same destination, just not part of the challenge), we got to the beach. Chicago was on the horizon and Lake Michigan is always seems to look tropical when the sun is out. It was lovely and I started a small rock collection while combing the beach. 


my sand walking techinque also brough home some sand



My final big Road Trip Destination was the Serpent Mound in Peedbles, Ohio. Made by either the Fort or the Adena cultures of the Ohio area and made hundred of years before Christ. The website says that they are hoping to make the site a UNESCO site, and although that is not the end all be all of qualifiers of historical signifigance, it would be nice to have more ancient North American sites be saved and to help preserve that part of Ohio heritage. I also think its soooo much more important than one of the two UNESCO sites in NYC, the Guggenheim. I hate that fact. There's also multiple mound sites that are currently world heritage sites and none of them are like the Serpent mound. I think it would round out the North American earthen mound collection.




It was amazing to finally go after finding out about it in my Archeology class. I fet robbed to not have known of the Mound Builders sooner. When most of what remains of a culture is their buildings and few objects, that's when I am truly interested. It has a viewing tower and a pretty good gift shop and a nature trail that takes you around a less lawn-y landscape. Its one of those trails with stairs and bridges and its pretty easy (did it in sandals) and shaded. The Serpent mound was a bucket list thing for me, as American Heritage, natural and cultural, is clearly very important to me. The natural heritage of North America is a specialty of The Boyfriend and makes traveling with him so fun. I want to have the most truthful image of the country available, much more than the things we should have some 'pride' about, focusing on the good ignores the bad and continues to allow ignorance, oppression and holding out on repirations to continue. It threatens lives, both human and animal (and plant). 

There is something about geting into the heart of America that reminds me of how much I believe in these things and how much I want all of this to be accessable to all. And accessable to me, after longing to see these kinds of places and to see how these places matter. 

Now that I am home, I am cleaned up and excited. I still do not have a job lined up, but I am back on the grind. I've applied to about seven or so since I got back. I wrote some letters on the road and I hope to write some more. My 

birthday is coming up and I'm growing up and I am still spending too much money. I am nervous about the next apartment and I am so ready to start building my new life. Everyone I've met since the move has someone in Somerville, moving to Somerville or lived in Somerville. It's trippy!

I also have seen lots of old friends back home and it is strange how much has settled since graduation, except for me, I have been moving a lot. But I've decided to stick to my roots and stay on this coast for a while, staying with my cats and my friends and my family. But who knows, I do love a big move. For some reason.

New York is home, seeing the Mets makes me never want to leave, but I can't be here and a child forever, its already over and I must move on and work hard and make something of myself. 

my new friend, buffalo gourd
This is all for this update, once it's done and published, I will be ready to blog once more. I have some ideas and some projects I want to do and I am ready to be creative on my little laptop once more. 








Ask me about my Spreadsheet ๐Ÿ‘•

I really want to make a blog post because I have spent my weekend mainly alone, only talkin to the Jean Cocteau staff and Ester, the librarian I volunteer with. I am going through Tomodachi Life withdrawls and also reading way too much fiction and listening to way too much radio but that is leagues above YouTube shorts that it is okay, I think. 

I really have not been watching movies but I think I shouldn't force it. I've seen 37 out of my goal of 50 films and so I think I am doing just fine. I could have seen more, technichally I could've seen a thousand by now, but I am really a girl of a million hobbies.

this graph is outdated, from when it used to be a sheets endevor
I have a deep desire to watch anime again, though I have yet to really act on it. I have this giant spreadsheet, you see, that is the only thing I use notion for, truly for no reason. I should go back to google sheets but then I'd have to transfer a whole bunch of stuff over. Google sheets lets you make unlimited charts and graphs. 

I think my problem with not watching anything but Dr. Katz professional therapist uploads and Vinesauce is that I have a routine, I don't have a TV, and its really hard to find anything anymore. And also my horrible horrible horrible current wifi situation. If I did go back to anime, that blue section wold really start to take up most of that pie

A lot of people do not assume I am someone who knows anything nerdy because sometimes I wear skirts and also I already know wayyy too much about 18th and 20th centuary history. But I had a few years long phase that ended when I discovered Marie Antoinette (2006) and I replaced it with movie watching. And now I have youtube which I consume so much more of but pay attention to so much less.

I am hoping to change my routine with a change of location and perhaps you might see some media reviews in your very special future. 

Okay, that's it for a little rambling and something more organized to come soon (pleasepleaseplease)

Love u all!

Personal Manifesto for Tomorrow because I am going to bed now.

 I am going to use my laptop.

I am going to use my laptop and I am going to watch movies, not videos.

I am going to use my laptop to make things. I am going to stop playinng Tomodachi Life Living the Dream for a week. Seven days.

I am going to do the dishes when I get home tomorrow, I am going to sit at my desk, which I am going to clear.

I am going to figure out what is wrong with my wifi and I am going to have a stable wifi connection. 

I am going to get an email from one of the jobs I applied to and they will want to interview me and they will love me. 

I am going to restart my laptop and my wifi will work. 

If I let myself be more intentional with my evenings, I can achieve more in less time. I will go to bed earlier, I will have less headaches and I will watch the sunset. I will not realize my room is dark and the sun has set before I decide to make dinner.

I will watch a lot of movies. I will watch so many movies and read so much of my book.

I am going to put new batteries in my CD player and listen to CDs and the radio. 

I will wear sunscreen.

I will accept where and who I am, with the intention to improve, move closer to my goal. If I have an apartment, I need a job and plan and drive to make, volunteer, learn, go out. 

My wifi will work.

The library wifi will stay connected for more than three minutes before making me sign in. I will never have to sign into this library again.

I will have so many YouTube videos waiting for me when I am ready to reapproach YouTube.

I will find something else to do than look at Pinterest. Pinterest is okay when I am not home, but when I am home and I have my book, I do not need to look at Images.

I am going to use my laptop. 

I am going to recover through making, I am going to have less headaches, I am going to feel successful, and I am going to steal ibuprofin from work, but not too much. I do not want to hurt my liver.

I am going to use my laptop and I am going to post so much this post won't be on the main page in a week, when I am back to playing Tomodachi Life. I will then introduce you to Tomodachi Life and it will not be awkward that you and tomo are fighting for my attention.

My wifi will work for more than a few minutes and 

I am going to use my laptop.

I'm going to have a balcony!

 I have an apartment in Somerville, MA!! I refuse to live anywhere that doesn't have the most rickety looking landmarks and anything younger than baby Syracuse founded in 1820. I am extremely exited for a billion and one reasons, one of the highest being container gardening on my first ever balcony. I also can't wait to have multiple roommates and a real TV. Sometimes, it really sets in how survival mode Santa Fe has been for me. I hope to one day not have to choose between fun and necessity next time I am in this city. I want real snow and real store hours. I want a deli.

The last major pieces I need are a successful moveout and a job lined up. I have applied to enough spray-and-pray fake indeed positions and now I am using references and cover letters. PLEASE HIRE ME!! I will do anything for $20 an hour full time



I have moved on a bit from KSFR. I like it when I want company. But when I am writing and I am thinking and especially when I am applying to jobs, something I want a stream of every jazz song ever and a few ads for the third annual whiskey and cigar festival. So I have been listening to station 101.5, the Cat. I am listening to it now and I really like their choices except for their jazz vocal pieces. Those are either the wonderful classics or someone doing some horrible cover. Often a white man doing something his voice wasn't ever meant to do and he sounds cheesey. 

Oh my god now they're playing teh fucking ODD COUPLE THEME!! A song I didn't know why I knew until I used my phone to tell me.... don't let my dad find out about this. Also when is Gen Z going to discover the Odd Couple on YouTube shorts so it can take over my feed and I stop seeing Sachiko and her evening drinks bc I, too, will become a female alcoholic. 


I have fallen into a routine I often go in and out of which is that I can't watch anything but youtube but every youtbe video looks bad. Also, all I want to do is play video games. I haven't written a letter or really truly tried in my diary or read some non fiction which are all hobbies that, to me, take a little bit of effort but have a differnet kind of pay off than playing Tomodachi Life. I think part of the problem is my messy living room and always being in my bed. But I love my bed!

At some point I must make a post about all the things I feel about the new Tomodachi Life, which I have played several hours of but no one would know, since my switch has been offline for quite a while. I am a mega fan of the second Tomodachi life game, to the point of playing the japanese-only original for a little while (this feels like a cover letter but maybe I am writing too many cover letters). So I know what I loved and I know what I miss and I know what I am very happy isn't in the new game


Okay, I must go to bed and not ramble about something I know I could make an organized post about. I need to go to bed to prepare for work and work and work tmr!

Goodnight Krilltopia! ๐Ÿ–‚๐Ÿž

I love you KSFR

 I've been listening to a lot of public radio as I wait for vinesauce to upload. The station I have found is KSFR (101.1 in northern NM). You can check in on their site, which also means I can listen in wherever I am. I like how it can be anything and there's nothing I can do about it. I started my morning with a story about the Gaza Flotilla and then listened to this, which is the closest I've ever gotten to actually reading Marx. 

I also like to listen to the music they play from all sorts of genres. If I don't listen to enough genres duirng the week I get bored with music. I've only become interested in the past day or so. I haven't actually spent a lot of time with the station but I 've already experienced so much. I really loved Jazz et Cetera which I did some stretches to before work on Friday. 

Other things going on include being tired, applying to jobs and thinking about this drawbridge opperator job I applied to. I don't really think I'll get it, I have almost no nautical experience, but I love to dream of different places and different lives I could lead. 






I started this on May 2nd, and since then I have applied with the Roommates for an apartment, I was rejected from the Drawbridge Opperator Job and I have grown the balls to ask my managers for references and so I am applying to better things than just the dredges of Indeed. 

I am still listening to KSFR when I can, I am surprised I have kept this up, I am now lsitening when I walk sometimes, though I prefer when its mostly music, which has changed now that the money drive has started. I am hoping to donate when I get paid next week. 

I also saw the Michael Jackson movie, high and eating popcorn with mustard. I saw it with the Coworkers and it was a great time. He is not someone I know a whole lot about, I really didn't know about the whole burns thing. I liked the cgi animals because I am terrified of chimps and do not want to look at a real one. 

This might be all I do as the heat gets turned up on my life... this blog may be a bit on pause until my weekends become more clear... I keep telling people I will leave them and it is very painful to do. I came here not knowing anyone, and for a while I thought I never would. But I did make a life in Santa Fe, I failed at avaiding nesting, even if it was only emotionally. 

That's all for this little blog post that somehow took me 9 days to write. ๐Ÿ’š

Game Night Gallery

 Literally several weeks ago (4/10) The Illustrators (and me) had game night via discord. We hit up all the classics: Gartic Phone, Skribbl.io and Jackbox

Before we start, the music:

And now here's a gallery of images from that night:

proof I am the Skribbl goat

exquisite corpse

exquisite corpse 2 (i did the head)

exquisite corpse 3 (i did the bewbs)

exquisite corpse 4 (i did the legs)


adam lambert break

exquisite corpse 5

exquisite corpse 6

exquisite corpse 7
Now for some gartic masterpieces






we rediscovered a banger

i am a witch and i am evil

a story... a trajic story....

This is the power of many creative minds working together to create beautiful work.

I hope you are inspired ๐Ÿ’—

byeeeeeeeeeeeee

Bye now