World's most extreme life update ever in the History of the World!!!

hey guys.....

I have attached this song so that you can feel like you just woke up at noon on a Saturday and are checking in on your town. The first thing you do is open your mailbox and this post is between an item from Timmy and Tommy and someone sending you the ugliest table you've ever seen. 

So anyways, where have I been? I recently discovered this little indie game, idk if you know it, called something like.... Animal Crossing: New Leaf?? Real talk, this is my favorite game. Ever. Of all time. When I got my copy on December 25th, 2013, I created a town that is still thriving today!!

I have attached this song so that you can feel like you just woke up at noon on a Saturday and are checking in on your town. The first thing you do is open your mailbox and this post is between an item from Timmy and Tommy and someone sending you the ugliest table you've ever seen. 

The city folk city is the greatest
city, it's weird and a little gritty.

That town is Poutown, named after my first ever Animal Crossing town in Wild World years prior. I have always liked Wild World, but playing any non-city Animal Crossing game just doesn't give me enough stuff to do. (This includes New Horizons btw. They reinvented the city the way Pokémon reinvents Mega Evolution, and it's just not the same!)

Let me explain what happened. The Roommate got himself a classic red 3DS on eBay and soon after got himself Animal Crossing: New Leaf (and for pretty cheap!). And then it was over for me. I wanted to log back in so bad. I also wanted to start a new town, but I could never in my life reset Poutown. That town is 12 years old, I've had it for over half my existence! 

When I logged back in, it was not the sight that one expects from a years' neglected Animal Crossing town. There were no weeds or rafflesia around. Instead, almost every single open block was a flower. I had left Poutown with the "Keep Poutown Beautiful" Ordinance, and Isabelle did not have the eye for landscaping as I do. My first order of business was to asses the damage and also just run everywhere. It was a lot of fun, but my sprints were blocked by an accumulation of fruit trees everywhere. I had to get hacking with my axe. Sadly, life only sells one happy axe a day, devastating news. Everyone in my town is out to get me. Including Harriet, who gave me such a fuck-ass hairstyle day one. 

Penelope!!!

Among my residents, I was reminded why I stopped playing in high school. I had lost my greatest bestest most-amazing friend, Penelope, and replaced her with a freaky clone who did not remember who I was through the new amiibo technology. Coming back, once I had accepted this was a new, different character in the story of Poutown (maybe one I could convince to move out), I felt less weird about her. Otherwise, I felt like a mad scientist whose creation didn't meet his high expectations. 

Eventually, she grew on me. She's the queen bee, mean girl type, but she's not evil. Villagers come up to me all the time, telling me Penelope made a comment that means they must reinvent some aspect of their personality. Someone new was moving in (Bertha, we'll get to her later), and Penelope confessed she was scared Bertha would steal her spotlight!

marshall

Another old face was Marshal. He and I had been friends for 10 years, technically. But I am a very different person now, and I don't have weird obsessions with my villagers because I'm not some lonely pre-teen. Now it's like running into an old friend you hadn't talked to for years, and every time I go into my house to rearrange my furniture or change my outfit, he always visits. He still signs his letters off with "your best friend Marshall." He's a little needy. 

T-Bone

punchy

I amiibo'd in two other villagers. Punchy and T-Bone. These two are the best amiibo cards I have. I love a cranky villager, like T-Bone. I think that the town is more fun if you have villagers of different ages. T-Bone is an old man from "the old country." This "old country" is some communist steppe country of unspecified name. Punchy is a fav because he looks just like my cat, Quilty. His personality was exactly the same as Bob, another c
at, but I had had Bob for a little while and his house sucks so when Bob offered to move, I was happy to let him explore greener pastures. Punchy is very chill; he's a lazy villager.

Muffy, my goth sheep, might also be an amiibo villager, but I don't remember. She lives basically on my lawn. After The Roommate got me into making complicated storylines for all my villagers, I realized she has little connection to most of them. I like to think she's a bit of an introvert and has very few friends. She's a bit lonely but finds a lot of calm in interior design and collecting fancy furniture and dolls. I also think she's a little lesbian, but none of the girls in town are her type. Also, I finally got her to change out of her starting look, a very non-goth, pink plaid scarf. But now she's in an epic skull tee!!!

Bunnie!!!

Right before I started playing again, Bunnie moved in. She has the least amount of lore behind her. She's peppy, like Penelope, but she doesn't have the same kind of influence and has no interest in that sort of thing. She just likes trends. She lives in the middle of town, surrounded by Penelope, Marshall, and Teddy. Oh, and the police station. 

Teddyyy

Teddy is my jock villager, obsessed with working out, calling me 'ladybro' and waking up early. He's my tallest villager, and a bit of a trend setter. For the first week of the game, he got Punch to wear the same club tee as him. Teddy is best known for being a bit of a nuisance. He and Velma, my second-newest villager, do not get along. Their personalities clash. He also showed me a letter my poor alter ego, Baleen (you know, as opposed to krill), sent him a letter saying to vote for her over me! But it seems like he pulls these stunts by accident. He doesn't realize he is doing bad things; he's focused on his morning run or something. One of my favorite things happening in the game is that people keep spreading a rumor that tiny mouse Penelope fought a bear. In my mind, this is a hidden threat from Velma to Teddy, since Velma views Penelope very highly (something I will get into in the Velma paragraph). Recently, Teddy was too sore to leave the house, so he asked me to bring Bunnie to his house (😏). When she arrived, he said he finished a workout routine for her, called the "Walk to Teddy's house" routine or something. For context, they live four squares away from each other, so this feels like some light flirting in my eyes. Finally, some Bunnie gossip!

Velma

After a few days of playing, Velma moved in. She's very uptight and proper. I think she's maybe 18 or so and wants a good reputation in her new town. She cares a lot about what other people think. She always has ideas on how to improve the town or help people. Probably how she got into an argument with Teddy. In my mind, she sees Penelope as an idol. She wants to be so effortlessly popular and in control, as Penelope seems to be. She also plays several instruments and keeps her home very clean. She's an overachiever and won the fishing tourney. Instead of displaying her trophy, she displayed a fish shirt I gave her in celebration. (If it had been one of those all-fish tournaments, I would've won!)

Bertha!

Yesterday, Bertha moved in. Since they always spend that first day moving in, I finally talked to her for realsies today. She's a normal villager, which means she seems like the eldest female villager of the group. So far, I've already learned a lot. Her first meeting with T-Bone felt cold and kinda like he didn't like her. Classic T-Bone, I'm sure he'll warm up. She also visited Penelope, who I think invited her to scope out the competition. Penelope says she doesn't feel concerned that Bertha will be more popular, but I can't tell if she's lying. Velma also met with Bertha to teach her the ways of desert presentation in a party setting, which ended in a minor disagreement. 

So, these are my villagers. Today I heard the news that Marshall is moving and I gave him my blessing. I think this is why I wanted to make this post. I wanted to talk about remembering this era of Poutown before I let my villager of over a decade move on. 

Besides being my gossip central,  I have also been getting my money up. I have a few million from some hackers I met before they shut down online. I gave a lot of it away, but now I'm trying to use this million to get more. As a child, I was so scared of the stalk market, but I'm an adult now and I think maybe I can handle my money. I made a few hundred thousand off of 1.2 million turnips in a desperate attempt to make any money off the investment, and my prices jumped so high I didn't buy any for this week. But I'm still getting my money up!!! Mainly through shark fishing...

Hameau de la Reine

I also created a Petit Trianon-esque save file (Baleen) whom I play as whenever I need a break from the wealthy, mayor life and want to be normal and poor. Every time I play as Baleen, I have to choose between paying off my house and buying one thing I like, and I always choose the thing I like. She also has a bit of a plot about hating Gwendo and her empire, maybe she should wait a few years and she can have a golden palace like I do. 

It doesn't help that Gwendo gets all the fossils and gyroids throughout the town before Baleen wakes up. But what can Gwendo do about it? She needs more money. 

Other Animal Crossing moments include changing the town tune to the Katamari theme and I reorganized my saved designs and letters. I also did a few things when I had some non-Animal Crossing free time, like fixing that skirt I was talking about. The only addition besides cropping it was butt patch and I like it a lot.

I also am getting very adult-y. I am about to take my road test for the first time, and I've been talking to grad school connections and learning a lot. I have a great essay I'm working on, I got to interview my mom's old boss who lived a crazy, feminist life. I've been applying to jobs, applied to do some research for some nuns and they rejected me but that's ok, I think. 

I spent my whole spring break up at school and I worked and hung out with everyone else doing the same. My mom came up too, which was very very nice, even if I was a little overwhelmed at times. 

I think that's really all I gotta say. Only like 2000 words about Animal Crossing and a bit about what I've been doing for a month. Very Krill tbh.

Bye!!!!! 🥬

Bye now...